Pick-Up 070: Not too bad!
Peace be upon you, dear friends, and Ramadan Mubarak Kareem,
I was reading the most boring book I picked up so far when I came across a mention of both a book and a movie that the main character, a “successful” businessman, presents as his favorites. Although there were many things wrong with this book I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and check the two references.
The movie’s title was “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”. I googled it only to find out that it was initially a French book, so I picked it up and ditched the movie (It’s been a while since I’m no longer that much into those!) “Le Scaphandre et le papillon” is the memoir of the former editor-in-chief of Elle magazine: Jean-Dominique Bauby. While at the top of his professional career, 43-year-old Jean-Do suffered a stroke. After almost three weeks in a coma, he woke up in a state of almost complete paralysis. He no longer could move any part of his body…except for his left eyelid. He was diagnosed with a rare medical condition called ‘Locked-in syndrome’ (LIS). His mind worked perfectly fine and so he was able through the method of “silent alphabet” and about 200.000 blinks to leave behind a book about what it was like to be ‘trapped inside’ his body.
Aside from the sad story, the book was so delicious to read. Mr. Bauby had style. I went back through my highlights to find only seven of them. Four were simple words: “lascar”, “illico”, “figaro”, and “pléonasme” and these reminded me of just how elegant I thought the French language really is. The content was quite heavy though and so I found a hard time digesting it, especially in the mornings, when I usually read, or the times I felt a bit down. The other three highlights are a testimony to that. All I can say is that the scenes described are really painful but they made me mindful and grateful for the blessings we usually overlook. It’s a book to be read when you’re in a good place or else it’ll just make things worse. And even in that state, tissues are a must.
Théophile, mon fils, est là sagement assis, son visage à cinquante centimètres de mon visage, et moi, son père, je n’ai pas le simple droit de passer la main dans ses cheveux drus, de pincer sa nuque duveteuse, d’étreindre à l’en étouffer son petit corps lisse et tiède. Comment le dire ? Est-ce monstrueux, inique, dégueulasse ou horrible ? Tout d’un coup, j’en crève. Les larmes affluent et de ma gorge s’échappe un spasme rauque qui fait tressaillir Théophile. N’aie pas peur, petit bonhomme, je t’aime. Toujours dans son pendu, il achève la partie. Encore deux lettres, il a gagné et j’ai perdu. Sur un coin de cahier il finit de dessiner la potence, la corde et le supplicié.
What I found most inspiring about this story is Jean-Do’s unyielding determination to write this book. I could only imagine the amount of patience it took him to convey a simple message let alone write a book in such conditions but I could say with certainty that these circumstances would have led many to give up. But he didn’t. The way he phrased sentences and made up whole paragraphs in his mind and committed them to memory so that the next day he could dictate them to the nurse is just… incredible. Also, his description of how the alphabet presents itself in his mind and all the games of his imagination reminded me of Jacques Lusseyran’s unique story.
“My diving bell becomes less oppressive, and my mind takes flight like a butterfly. There is so much to do. You can wander off in space or in time, set out for Tierra del Fuego or for King Midas’s court.”
But I honestly felt sorry for Jean-Do. He didn’t have much faith and so he clearly suffered a lot through the paralysis trial. His experience was very different from that of the author of the second reference which I checked right after I finished reading the first one. “Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life” is the memoir of former KPMG CEO Eugene O'Kelley. He was at the top of his professional career when he was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and was told he had only three months to live.
The book is about how he tried to “take matters into his own hands” after deciding to make the most out of his remaining days. His plan included quitting his job, unwinding relationships, and being in a state of hyper-consciousness to experience every moment in full presence and stop dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. The last step was the hardest for him to attain but was eventually achieved in an unexpected manner. He even experienced what he called Perfect Moments.
But almost all those moments one could have seen coming. They weren’t the mundane, fabric-of-life stuff. Maybe other people appreciate the perfection in small moments (I’m sure many, many do) and I was just too caught up in my fast-paced, high-pressure life to ever get at the sublimeness that was embedded in them. I grant that that’s possible. But it wasn’t that the moments I was experiencing were about small things so much as that they caught me unaware. They were almost off-handed. In my previous life,the one where I couldn’t have told you with certainty the year I would die, such spontaneous beauty happened rarely. Or I guess I was too busy to be open to it.
Eugene reveals a key way to a perfect moment: acceptance. Though the tumors in his brain increasingly affected his speech, physical appearance, and ability to do simple everyday tasks, he was able through acceptance to let go and eventually ‘enter and even linger in the present moment’.
Weeks before these two finds, I remember making duaa to access a state of presence and consciousness because I was too frustrated by the continuous rumination of some thoughts. As I read through the books, my duaa was answered and so I lived some of the most beautiful days of my life. There was no “achievement” nor “special” event happening just the simple yet hard-to-access blissful ‘living in the moment’.
Alhamdoulil’Allah.
I guess reading not-so-good books is not always that bad after all.
📹The Sphere of Youtube
I’ve been recommending this amazing episode about relationships to almost everyone I meet lately. It has over 33 million views so far. In case you don’t know Arabic, now they have English subtitles so don’t forget to turn them on.
💭 This Week’s Quote
“If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.”
―Maria Edgeworth
Thanks for Reading!
Thoughts and feedback on the newsletter or on anything covered within are always welcome, just hit reply. Hope you enjoyed this. As always, I appreciate you.
Stay curious and have a great Ramadan. 🤟
Meriem.
A Perfect Moment, photo by me
P.S.: I’m genuinely so happy I was able to write this one and send it your way.
Much love <3