Pick-Up 065: Grateful to...

Peace be upon you, dear friends,

I came across a very good passage from Date to Lead, on foreboding.

I honestly had to look the word up. It refers to, for those of you who don’t know, to a feeling that something bad will happen; fearful apprehension. Brené points out how this feeling usually hits at the moments where we feel deep joy, following happy events like a promotion, an engagement proposal, pregnancy news…You’re tickled by this warm fuzzy feeling and you’re smiling broadly when suddenly, you hit on the idea that something bad might happen and so the feeling of joy fades away and is rather replaced by sadness and panic.

According to Brené, it has everything to do with last issue’s subject; vulnerability. Apparently, joy is the most vulnerable emotion we feel.

“When we feel joy, it is a place of incredible vulnerability—it’s beauty and fragility and deep gratitude and impermanence all wrapped up in one experience. When we can’t tolerate that level of vulnerability, joy actually becomes foreboding, and we immediately move to self-protection. It’s as if we grab vulnerability by the shoulders and say, “You will not catch me off guard. You will not sucker-punch me with pain. I will be prepared and ready for you.”

This pattern of negative thinking is obviously not helpful. We think we’re protecting ourselves when in fact, as Brené says, we’re squandering the opportunity to fill our emotional tank as the reserve that allows us to be resilient when bad things actually do happen.

She then offers the antidote to foreboding which consists of a practice of gratitude. Whether it’s in journaling or included as a ritual in family dinners or work meetings (Dhikr does it as well!), it’s supposed to be a “practice” and not simply an “attitude”. (Exactly!) Research has shown that gratitude can change our lives; it reduces stress, increases self-esteem, and improves relationships.

I would like to finish with some thoughts on gratitude. Nowadays, as it’s generally referred to, the meaning of the word has been altered. Its synonyms are gratefulness, thankfulness, appreciation, recognition, acknowledgment...All of these terms refer to a relational condition and so the question is who are you grateful to? Who is it intended towards? Because eventually, when you dismiss this agent from the act of gratitude, it becomes a deficient act; a flawed concept. For some hikmah, despite it being disgraceful, it still works (in this life, let’s say!) Gratefulness should be directed to the One Who brought us into existence. The One Who blessed us with all of the favors and bounties we have and that if we were to count, we would be unable to.

AlhamulilAllah.

That’s it for this week.

Take good care.

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💭 This Week’s Quote

"If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want."

―Oscar Wilde.

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Thanks for Reading!

Thoughts and feedback on the newsletter or on anything covered within are always welcome, just hit reply. Hope you enjoyed this. As always, I appreciate you.

Stay curious and have a great week. 🤟

Meriem.